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Friday, January 27, 2012
Why the name?
Several people have asked me how I came up with the title for my blog. Yes, they think it's pretty cool but where did it come from?
Well, I'm just a tad, wee little bit anal retentive about certain things...including the behavior and actions of my children. I've also been known to be just a little short-tempered at times. Yeah, I know some of you are laughing your butts off right now, just bear with me. When I started blogging again, I found my former blog was no longer available so I had to try for a new one. I tried every variation of my name that I could think of but you know, Anderson is quite common, as is Mary, and believe it or not, the combination of those two with Kelly left nothing available. So I had to get creative.
While I was sitting at my laptop pondering my choices, the time a little past 8:00pm (the girls' bedtime which is STRICTLY enforced), I soon found myself face-to-face with our almost-7-year-old. "I didn't get my drink of water, I didn't go potty, I didn't brush my teeth, I'm hungry, Emily hit me, Emily keeps talking and I can't go to sleep." I raised my voice, which I seldom do (insert coffee-spraying-through-your-nose laugh here), and told her to get her skinny-little-butt back in bed (ok, now it's snot coming out your nose accompanied by a strong laugh, but no, you're right, I didn't say skinny).
So I'm back to this blog and pondering a name. And that's when it hit me...getting upset with Grace was not worth it, and it certainly would not mean anything ten years from now. So, the name was born.
Most times I do not end up writing about things that won't matter in ten years, but instead will mean as much (if not more) as they do now. It's like the blog about Tommy, that will absolutely mean everything ten years from now. "Manners" is a timeless writing of thoughts, and "Happy Anniversary, babe" was about ten years AGO, but truly I hope to be the same if not better ten years from now...but it certainly will matter!
I love my family and I love my life and while a lot of times I write about things that absolutely WILL matter ten years from now, just seeing the title every time I log on here, I'm reminded that in the daily day-to-day, the few times I get upset (I know...BWAHAHAHA) will not matter in ten years.
Well, I'm just a tad, wee little bit anal retentive about certain things...including the behavior and actions of my children. I've also been known to be just a little short-tempered at times. Yeah, I know some of you are laughing your butts off right now, just bear with me. When I started blogging again, I found my former blog was no longer available so I had to try for a new one. I tried every variation of my name that I could think of but you know, Anderson is quite common, as is Mary, and believe it or not, the combination of those two with Kelly left nothing available. So I had to get creative.
While I was sitting at my laptop pondering my choices, the time a little past 8:00pm (the girls' bedtime which is STRICTLY enforced), I soon found myself face-to-face with our almost-7-year-old. "I didn't get my drink of water, I didn't go potty, I didn't brush my teeth, I'm hungry, Emily hit me, Emily keeps talking and I can't go to sleep." I raised my voice, which I seldom do (insert coffee-spraying-through-your-nose laugh here), and told her to get her skinny-little-butt back in bed (ok, now it's snot coming out your nose accompanied by a strong laugh, but no, you're right, I didn't say skinny).
So I'm back to this blog and pondering a name. And that's when it hit me...getting upset with Grace was not worth it, and it certainly would not mean anything ten years from now. So, the name was born.
Most times I do not end up writing about things that won't matter in ten years, but instead will mean as much (if not more) as they do now. It's like the blog about Tommy, that will absolutely mean everything ten years from now. "Manners" is a timeless writing of thoughts, and "Happy Anniversary, babe" was about ten years AGO, but truly I hope to be the same if not better ten years from now...but it certainly will matter!
I love my family and I love my life and while a lot of times I write about things that absolutely WILL matter ten years from now, just seeing the title every time I log on here, I'm reminded that in the daily day-to-day, the few times I get upset (I know...BWAHAHAHA) will not matter in ten years.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Happy Anniversary, babe!
I know I'm a little early but I'm truly excited...date night Saturday night! Woo hoo! LOL! The hubs and I are headed out to Rick's on the River to celebrate our 10-year anniversary by doing what we did on our first date...eating oysters on the half-shell and drinking cold beer.
Wow...10 years. So many felt in the beginning that it would never last. True, we've had our moments and I am surprised at myself that I finally settled down. I wouldn't trade any of it for the world though, not one bit.
My dear lovely and I started off working down the hall from each other when I was still active duty Air Force. Our paths rarely crossed except for the occasional trip out to the smoke pit. We actually knew each other though for about a year before we went on our first date to Sandestin. We had no place in mind to go so ended up going into an oyster bar. We each had a bottle of beer (him Miller Lite, me Bud Light) but that's where the differences ended. He asked me if I liked oysters and I said yes so we sat there with a dozen between us. We both have detailed methods to eating raw oysters...and found out they are the same! Saltine cracker with an oyster on top, squeeze some lemon juice on it and sprinkle with salt and pepper, top with a dallop of horseradish and a couple drops of Tobasco...VOILA! Yes, involved but exactly the same...yet one of many signs that it was meant to be.
We had talked a little here and there about maybe getting married but did not finalize any plans. Then the tragedy of 9/11 occurred. Shortly after Randy found out that he had made Chief Master Sergeant. In January 2002 he had Chief's week, a week of events sponsored by the major command combining classes with other activities such as a visit to the Enlisted Widows Home and a golf tournament. The week culminates with a formal induction ceremony.
We knew that Randy would be deploying to Afghanistan early-2002, his mom was coming to visit for his Chief's Induction, I was going to San Antonio for a month and would not be back until after he had left...that left us with the week of his activities to find a quick moment to go to the courthouse. Problem was? The week was so jam-packed there were no free minutes, even their lunches were catered in. But we did find one time in the schedule when he might be able to get away...
We had decided ahead of time to limit the people we told. I told Keri (Jordan) McDonald and he told Michael Mahowald and they met us at the courthouse on Tuesday afternoon. Randy was in the middle of a golf tournament at the golf course on Hurlburt Field and left his foursome on the 7th hole, met the three of us at the courthouse in Shalimar, exchanged vows with me and quickly returned to Gator Lakes Golf Course before his group had finished the 9th hole. No one had a clue where he had been.
It's funny to me the things that I remember from that time...I remember the flowers mom and pop sent to us, a huge and absolutely gorgeous bouquet...I remember the phone call from Bobbi Jo Stumpf that night telling Randy and me that she and Brian were having a son...I remember getting up the next morning and driving to Tennessee to get my now-mother-in-law and not telling her at all what had happened...I remember her seeing the flowers from my folks and asking us what they were for but not being able to remember what we told her...I remember Katie coming to the house on Friday to get ready for the induction and not telling her either...and I remember at the induction when Randy's name was called I was introduced as his escort.
My handsome new husband at his Chief's Induction, January 2002
With his mom Judy and daughter Katie at the induction.
With the Maginel's and Engberg's.
Two days after the induction I was on an airplane to San Antonio and Randy returned to work. Less than three weeks later he deployed. Here are a couple of my favorite pictures from his deployment there.
My handsome operator.
With then-Colonel-now-Brigadier-General Michael Kingsley, a great commander and friend, after being promoted to Chief in Afghanistan.
I think this speaks for itself!
So here we are babe, ten years later and still going strong. Who would've thought...between us one son, 4 daughters, one daughter-in-law, one son-in-law, one granddaughter and one grandson. I love our family, I love our life, but most importantly I love you. Here's to fifty more!
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Manners...
A while back I wrote a post about thank you notes and whether or not they are really important (I do believe they are). I've been faced lately with the simple issue of just saying or hearing 'thank you.' What is up with that? How hard is it to say those two words to let someone know you are appreciative of what they have said, what they have done, what they have offered, etc.? So before I feel I can criticize the actions or inactions of others, I need to first look at myself.
Do I always say thank you to hubs when he does something for me or says something kind? Admittedly no, but I do try. Do I always thank the girls when they finish what they are told to do, or when they see me lying down with a headache, bring me a warm wet cloth for my forehead? I try to, but I do not always. Regrettably, the reason I feel I do not always tell hubs or my girls thank you each time is because I take them for granted. That right there is a realization that I need to stand up to...those you take for granted don't usually stick around, or at the very least lose whatever respect they had for you. I need to make this my New Year's resolution - to be more gracious, stop taking family and friends for granted, to let people know that their kindness is appreciated. If someone is kind enough to take the time to do something for me, I need to be equally respectful and take the time to let them know that I truly appreciate what they did. Right?
Our PTA at the girls' school does a lot for our teachers and support staff beyond fundraising to help them buy what they need to buy. We had a dinner catered for them that started off our school year, our volunteer VP coordinated a desserts and coffee right before winter break, we provide dinner for them on conference nights, we periodically go through the school with a cart full of coffee and donuts just because we can. After we have done something along those lines there are a couple of teachers who are absolutely excellent about placing a little note card in our box in the front office just to say thanks. Those cards go a long way in keeping up our morale so that we can do more to help boost their morale. Having people tell us thank you makes the difference between us doing more because we want to and doing more because we feel we have to.
So I think I'm going to take note of that in my own home, with my own family. Thank you goes a long way. I like to hear it from my children, we are trying to raise them with proper manners. And since I know how it feels to me to hear it, I know then that our children will feel the same way when I say it to him. Same goes for hubs...he's the absolute last person I want to perceive I am taking advantage. I love and respect him too much to do that.
This is definitely something that WILL matter ten years from now. By that point I pray that our daughters are well-mannered young women with grateful hearts. And when hubs and I are sitting outside together...when he brings me my cocktail I will be sure to say THANK YOU! :D
Do I always say thank you to hubs when he does something for me or says something kind? Admittedly no, but I do try. Do I always thank the girls when they finish what they are told to do, or when they see me lying down with a headache, bring me a warm wet cloth for my forehead? I try to, but I do not always. Regrettably, the reason I feel I do not always tell hubs or my girls thank you each time is because I take them for granted. That right there is a realization that I need to stand up to...those you take for granted don't usually stick around, or at the very least lose whatever respect they had for you. I need to make this my New Year's resolution - to be more gracious, stop taking family and friends for granted, to let people know that their kindness is appreciated. If someone is kind enough to take the time to do something for me, I need to be equally respectful and take the time to let them know that I truly appreciate what they did. Right?
Our PTA at the girls' school does a lot for our teachers and support staff beyond fundraising to help them buy what they need to buy. We had a dinner catered for them that started off our school year, our volunteer VP coordinated a desserts and coffee right before winter break, we provide dinner for them on conference nights, we periodically go through the school with a cart full of coffee and donuts just because we can. After we have done something along those lines there are a couple of teachers who are absolutely excellent about placing a little note card in our box in the front office just to say thanks. Those cards go a long way in keeping up our morale so that we can do more to help boost their morale. Having people tell us thank you makes the difference between us doing more because we want to and doing more because we feel we have to.
So I think I'm going to take note of that in my own home, with my own family. Thank you goes a long way. I like to hear it from my children, we are trying to raise them with proper manners. And since I know how it feels to me to hear it, I know then that our children will feel the same way when I say it to him. Same goes for hubs...he's the absolute last person I want to perceive I am taking advantage. I love and respect him too much to do that.
This is definitely something that WILL matter ten years from now. By that point I pray that our daughters are well-mannered young women with grateful hearts. And when hubs and I are sitting outside together...when he brings me my cocktail I will be sure to say THANK YOU! :D
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Thomas Reese Anderson
We made it through the holidays! Christmas was actually pretty good. My older sister came down from Tallahassee for a few days and it really was great having her here. The girls are absolutely in love with their Wii and the games they received...I was fretting for nothing. They are sitting in the family room with me right now playing Donkey Kong. They were happy and content with everything they received. Whew! Until next year...
My sister went home the day after Christmas, which was also the same day that Randy returned to work. We seemed to be settling into the groove, just took it easy for a couple of days. Then Randy received a phone call on the night of December 27th. I didn't even hear his cell phone ring. I was busy getting the girls ready for bed when he walked into the family room and asked if he could talk with me. I told him I'd be there in just a few minutes, after I got the girls in bed but he told me no, that it could not wait. I went to his office with him and he looked me square in the eyes and said that Tommy was gone. I asked him what he meant, I mean where did Tommy go? He said 'he's gone, he died.' Randy looked like a pillar made of stone, it was not hard to tell he was in shock from the news. I immediately broke down. Once I had recomposed myself, we started the difficult task of letting his children know as well as telling my family. Even though I broke down into tears each time I had to tell someone, I still was having a hard time believing that Tommy was really gone. Randy and I then spent the rest of the night getting him packed and ready to leave for Tennessee the next morning. I did call his mom, spoke with her briefly to let her know that Randy would be there by the next evening, the girls and I would swing through Georgia, pick up Katie and follow on the next day.
When we arrived at Judy's it was still surreal. As we pulled into the driveway I could see Tommy's truck back by the shed and my first thought was that he was probably inside at the table eating some of his momma's cooking. It took a minute for it to register that Tommy wasn't there after all...and he never would be. Randy and his mom were already at the funeral home so Katie cleaned up and we drove her there, I would follow later when she would take the girls back to grandma's. I spent the last half of the visitation there with Randy and truly marveled at my mother-in-law. The little pint-sized woman that I have known now for more than 11 years showed remarkable strength and poise while she spoke and spent time with every single person who walked through the door to pay their respects. Every once in a while I would see her dab at the corner of her eye but never once did I see a tear make it all the way down her cheek or even hear her voice crack. I was not even able to go near the casket without choking up and instead of embarrassing myself or my family in front of family I was meeting for the first time, I stayed away. Instead I preoccupied myself with Diane and Debbie, two of Randy's cousins who had been side-by-side with his mom since she first heard the news. The next day for the funeral I stayed back at the house with Emily and Grace while everyone else went to the funeral home. I stayed back not only to stay with the girls (who Randy and I both felt were too young to go) but also to heat up the food that had been given to us by so many people.
It was after everyone left that I started getting worried about Randy and his mom. Randy and Tommy were the best of friends, not just brothers. Almost every Saturday night they would talk for a couple of hours on the phone. As for their mom and Tommy? He lived further in town but most mornings she would make him breakfast and he would stop by on his way to work. Or in the evening he would stop by and eat supper with her. Tommy kept up all of the maintenance on her house, took care of her lawn, repaired anything that was broken, painted whatever she felt needed painting. It was a few days after the services that I stopped worrying that she was in shock yet functional. We were sitting at the kitchen table, Randy and Katie had left already to head home and Judy and I were having coffee. I had left the room momentarily and when I returned she had tears rolling down her face. When she realized I was there she quickly apologized for crying...to which I told her what I had heard from my own mother - our loved ones who pass are worth a lot of tears, don't ever feel bad for shedding tears for someone, they've earned it. That is when I learned that Judy was not in shock at all, just very strong in keeping her feelings private, close to her heart.
We spent a few days at Tommy's house, cleaning it out, moving his things and getting it ready to return to the owner. His mom zipped from room to room while I moved things outside. In no time we were done. And just as quickly we loaded up my Durango and the truck and trailer that Randy's cousin Diane had brought over. We left his former home, never to return.
We (Randy and I) inherited a little dog while we were up there. Several months back when Tommy was playing golf with some friends, he became buds with a little female Chihuahua mix. She followed him around to the end of the game and he absolutely fell in love with her. He named her Missy and took her home. After Tommy passed, Judy went to his house and got Missy to take her back to Judy's house. Randy and I felt it was the right thing to do to take her with us. As I sit here writing this, comfy with a lightweight quilt over my legs, she is curled up beside me with her entire body - including her head - completely under the covers, as happy and content as she can possibly be! She sleeps with us at night (something Randy started) and her favorite position is in between us with every part of her under the covers and snuggled up against one of us. She is absolutely precious and lives a life of peaceful coexistence with Chessie! LOL!
Randy has buried himself in work, staying very busy. It is still almost surreal to both of us that his brother, his younger brother and only sibling is gone forever. We've all heard it said that time heals all wounds but I do not agree. Some wounds never heal, no matter how long it has been. It is my belief that time makes it easiER to deal with them, but it is never easY.
Will it matter ten years from now? Absolutely - by that time, Randy will have spent ten years without his best friend and Judy ten years without her youngest son. But memories will always keep Tommy close to all of our hearts. To us Tommy died too soon. To God Tommy died at just the right time. Maybe ten years from now we will better understand or at least better deal with him being gone...and then again maybe we will not. Only time will tell.
My sister went home the day after Christmas, which was also the same day that Randy returned to work. We seemed to be settling into the groove, just took it easy for a couple of days. Then Randy received a phone call on the night of December 27th. I didn't even hear his cell phone ring. I was busy getting the girls ready for bed when he walked into the family room and asked if he could talk with me. I told him I'd be there in just a few minutes, after I got the girls in bed but he told me no, that it could not wait. I went to his office with him and he looked me square in the eyes and said that Tommy was gone. I asked him what he meant, I mean where did Tommy go? He said 'he's gone, he died.' Randy looked like a pillar made of stone, it was not hard to tell he was in shock from the news. I immediately broke down. Once I had recomposed myself, we started the difficult task of letting his children know as well as telling my family. Even though I broke down into tears each time I had to tell someone, I still was having a hard time believing that Tommy was really gone. Randy and I then spent the rest of the night getting him packed and ready to leave for Tennessee the next morning. I did call his mom, spoke with her briefly to let her know that Randy would be there by the next evening, the girls and I would swing through Georgia, pick up Katie and follow on the next day.
When we arrived at Judy's it was still surreal. As we pulled into the driveway I could see Tommy's truck back by the shed and my first thought was that he was probably inside at the table eating some of his momma's cooking. It took a minute for it to register that Tommy wasn't there after all...and he never would be. Randy and his mom were already at the funeral home so Katie cleaned up and we drove her there, I would follow later when she would take the girls back to grandma's. I spent the last half of the visitation there with Randy and truly marveled at my mother-in-law. The little pint-sized woman that I have known now for more than 11 years showed remarkable strength and poise while she spoke and spent time with every single person who walked through the door to pay their respects. Every once in a while I would see her dab at the corner of her eye but never once did I see a tear make it all the way down her cheek or even hear her voice crack. I was not even able to go near the casket without choking up and instead of embarrassing myself or my family in front of family I was meeting for the first time, I stayed away. Instead I preoccupied myself with Diane and Debbie, two of Randy's cousins who had been side-by-side with his mom since she first heard the news. The next day for the funeral I stayed back at the house with Emily and Grace while everyone else went to the funeral home. I stayed back not only to stay with the girls (who Randy and I both felt were too young to go) but also to heat up the food that had been given to us by so many people.
It was after everyone left that I started getting worried about Randy and his mom. Randy and Tommy were the best of friends, not just brothers. Almost every Saturday night they would talk for a couple of hours on the phone. As for their mom and Tommy? He lived further in town but most mornings she would make him breakfast and he would stop by on his way to work. Or in the evening he would stop by and eat supper with her. Tommy kept up all of the maintenance on her house, took care of her lawn, repaired anything that was broken, painted whatever she felt needed painting. It was a few days after the services that I stopped worrying that she was in shock yet functional. We were sitting at the kitchen table, Randy and Katie had left already to head home and Judy and I were having coffee. I had left the room momentarily and when I returned she had tears rolling down her face. When she realized I was there she quickly apologized for crying...to which I told her what I had heard from my own mother - our loved ones who pass are worth a lot of tears, don't ever feel bad for shedding tears for someone, they've earned it. That is when I learned that Judy was not in shock at all, just very strong in keeping her feelings private, close to her heart.
We spent a few days at Tommy's house, cleaning it out, moving his things and getting it ready to return to the owner. His mom zipped from room to room while I moved things outside. In no time we were done. And just as quickly we loaded up my Durango and the truck and trailer that Randy's cousin Diane had brought over. We left his former home, never to return.
We (Randy and I) inherited a little dog while we were up there. Several months back when Tommy was playing golf with some friends, he became buds with a little female Chihuahua mix. She followed him around to the end of the game and he absolutely fell in love with her. He named her Missy and took her home. After Tommy passed, Judy went to his house and got Missy to take her back to Judy's house. Randy and I felt it was the right thing to do to take her with us. As I sit here writing this, comfy with a lightweight quilt over my legs, she is curled up beside me with her entire body - including her head - completely under the covers, as happy and content as she can possibly be! She sleeps with us at night (something Randy started) and her favorite position is in between us with every part of her under the covers and snuggled up against one of us. She is absolutely precious and lives a life of peaceful coexistence with Chessie! LOL!
Randy has buried himself in work, staying very busy. It is still almost surreal to both of us that his brother, his younger brother and only sibling is gone forever. We've all heard it said that time heals all wounds but I do not agree. Some wounds never heal, no matter how long it has been. It is my belief that time makes it easiER to deal with them, but it is never easY.
Will it matter ten years from now? Absolutely - by that time, Randy will have spent ten years without his best friend and Judy ten years without her youngest son. But memories will always keep Tommy close to all of our hearts. To us Tommy died too soon. To God Tommy died at just the right time. Maybe ten years from now we will better understand or at least better deal with him being gone...and then again maybe we will not. Only time will tell.
Tommy with Katie before Randy's USAF retirement dinner.
Tommy with Grace in December 2005.
Thomas Reese Anderson with Emily Reese Anderson, late summer 2003.
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